Game on.Its my 30th high school reunion day.
Yippeeeeeeee.
Oak Park River Forest.
I will try to keep this short and sweet.hahahahah.
Funny how I am feeling.
Wonder if you are feeling the same way.
Its the feeling like you are in the middle of a football field, naked.
Have you ever had a dream like that?
I may be a bonified nut job, but I am certain that I am not the only one feeling this raw vulnerability.
Why?
Where does it all stem from?
I suppose the funny, loud, vivacious. generous, advocate, covered in glitter that you see, evolved from someone else.
Actually a complete stranger of my past self...
30 years ago I was shy- scared- definitely not determined.
Merely hoping to find a kind eye in the cafeteria to sit and have lunch with. Just like the viral videos.
Always feeling like I was on the out side of the ever so wanting to be inside, 'circle'.
Trying so desperately to 'fit in'....
I remember feelings of the tangible circle full of different kinds of kids.
Popular, middle, the scared and alone.
But the circle-I was the gawky girl that jumped up and down on the outside, trying to see what was happening on the inside.
As the story has been often told.
No one knew I was her.
Probably not even me.
I was always a good actress.
Wearing my fears and insecurities hidden beneath my Izod and tretorn shoes.
I planted that big Holly Grin painted across my heavily eye lined face and trudged forward.
Just always wondering what was happening inside that inner , tightly wound, almost UN- breakable, circle.
I have been blessed to be the mom of 5 outstanding kids...I have built 3 companies from my passion and off of my kitchen table.
I have stayed true to that little girl by always being me.
Realizing late in life that the circle has no meaning.
Better,
To stand alone,
even if awkward and afraid, just stand alone.
Believe in yourself, and for whatever you stand for, stand tall.
Who really cares what others think, say or do?
Unless it directly affects my life I shall smile and keep on walking.
I have built my own shatter proof circle.
I suppose mine looks more like a square, always being a radical!
Full of people that I meet each and every day-
Some broken, some bent, polka dot and different.
No molds,
No stereotypes,
Just people.
People that bring something to my life that makes it richer.
People that I can share myself with.
The real me.
The greatest thing I have learned??
To make my very own square.
Full of giving, kindness, non judgements, affection, honesty, smiles, hugs, worth and meaning.
The key to my square of happiness?
I will always keep the square wide open.
Join at any time. Jump right in.
Don't care how popular you are or once were.
Don't care what you wear or what you own.
My square is what I create.
My choices.
In my square we are ONE.
United by friendship, honesty and no charades.
I totally wish I knew then what I know now.
Cool part is my next chapter begins tonight.
As my community gets bigger and my life becomes richer I am grateful for my time standing on the outside.
It taught me that we are all equal.
If I had the choice to do it all over again?
Nah- no thanks.
I'm good.
