Listen.

Is anyone really listening?

Once again I sit here, wondering how in the world I got to this place.

 Right here, right now.
 Feeling as happy as a child in the middle of Toys R Us.
Some great news came in yesterday in regards to the future of I am who I am.
Amazing change in the right direction.
I am making this happen. Fighting for whats right.
Every day.

Yet as sad as a child that just lost their puppy.

Terrible analogy for what you are about to read.

Yet mere words at this point are all I have to offer.

You see this week began with a bang. A full blown Holly style amazing technicolor ride to California.
You all know my nirvana is found directly in my friends backyard.

No need for fuss or fancy- Just me, my cup of tea and the sweet smell of the Orange County  air.

Happiness in that exact moment centers me- giving me balance to this crazy life.

The life that we all live, day to day with gigantic ups and downs.
Huge bumps.
 Wrong roads, crazy paths.
 Some hit so hard it takes time to get back up- to recover.

My dear Flight attendant magical friend:)

Damn its been one of those weeks.

A friend gifted me a last minute trip to my happy place.
A last minute run to my Oz.

From fearless and tired to humbled and proud the days were full of memories laced by amazing friends and memories in the making.
Needless to say I ran into old friends.
Ones I had met years ago, for just a moment.
 But they remembered me.

Be who you would like to be.
Be the friend you desire to have.
Be the gift to someone that you need back.
Be good,
Be kind,
Be gentle,
Loving,
Sincere and true.

Give the gift of yourself and watch the magic unfold right before your eyes.

How can someone be that memorable after just sharing a few moments?
Be present.
Give yourself.

My holiday magic!

Your heart.

California is my package to unwrap.

Amazing friends that literally squealed in delight "Holly's here" as I entered the room.
A friend so dear to  me. A real sister even if not for blood.
She actually cried tears of joy as she saw my face.
They thought it was their holiday magic...

But alas it was mine.

All mine.

The trip was a whirlwind full of new and old sights, tastes, giggles and long car rides.
It was entwined with the making of new friends and refreshing the old.

Beth, how did you find ME? In the gigantic Venice Beach area, You warmed my heart. As always. I am touched and humbled.

              The love I had in my pockets as I boarded the plane                                     home was over flowing. 

A tiny tea party years ago was remembered:)

And then in the morning the cold reality of life busted me straight between the eyes.

Friends are our daily gifts.

Seriously, our world can twist and shake.
It certainly can remind you quickly how fragile what we have is.

Love,
Friendship,
Honest moments,
Wrapped in life long memories.


I checked my phone to read that my friend had just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

I heard today that another friend just passed away from a car accident.

Did I say enough?
Did I tell them?
Show them?

No do overs.


I am reminded by the cold f n reality as the snow today stings my cheek, only to close my eyes and dream about a life full of just happiness.

Dammit.

I erased my list of wants for this Christmas.

I can do without the kick ass boots form Nordstroms.

This year it will be different.
It must be different.
WE ALL must make a change.

It is my birthday and in need to be celebrated every trip!

I'm exhausted.
I'm broken, but I've got this.

Wish it,
Dream it.
Believe it and make it happen.

If you look, love is everywhere.

LISTEN to me.
Listen to someone.
Listen to yourself,
Your heart...
LOVE.
Give it away this year.
Lots of it,
With reckless abandonment.

Say it twice.
LOUD.
Call the friend you meant to call.
Say you're sorry.
Stick your damn hand out.

Make a difference with what you have.

YOU think you have nothing?

Seriously.

Pity party go away.

You today have more than my friend has.

So far you have this moment to make it all right.

Make it better.
Make the damn change you need to see in your world.
In our world.

I am certainly not Nelson Mandela.
Nor claim to be Mother Theresa.

But I think I get it.
Doesn't mean I don't falter.

But I don't wanna go down alone.
I want you.
All of you, to stay by my side.
Love and live in harmony.
Together.

Don't tell me about the fight you had-
Fix it.

Missing someone.
Tell them.

Fight for what you want what you need.
Get it right this time.

Then give it away.

I'll give you all I have.

Just make sure I get some back.

Its truly the only gift I may ever need.
Happy Holly-Days friends.

We got this.