Walk in my shoes.

You know those sayings about 'walking in others shoes?'

' Don't judge unless you can walk a mile in mine?'

Or the sayings about 'don't get angry at the guy who just sped up in front of you, he is racing home to see his dying wife'...'.Don't be angry at the grocery checker as she hands you the incorrect change, her mind is full of fear, she has no idea  how she will pay this months rent.'

I love those little sentences. 
They hold within them great, powerful meaning.

We all need to be reminded, daily.

Don't we?

Yep, we do.
Kinda like don't sweat the small stuff.
 Or, our problems are small compared to someone else's.

Perspective.

I think that's what the words do for me.

They bring me to a simple place of perspective.

 My shoes led me to a place today that I have been before.

I have been given the honor by some as one of the first person's to call.
I never asked to be 'her'.
Never knew how to be 'her'.

Guess I still don't.
It didn't come with a manual.
I'm just a mom walking the walk.

Doing the very best I know how.
 Mistakes along the way?
YOU BET.


A mentor if you will.
A kind voice, a listening heart.
A mom that clearly has walked in the similar Down Syndrome world's shoes.

Funny how much I love shoes.
They all do the same thing,
protect our feet.

But there are millions of styles, millions of heights, patterns, materials.
Yet they still all serve the same purpose.
They help you in your path.

They help you to walk forward.
Small steps, big leaps.
Sometimes they are built for comfort, other times they absolutely hurt like hell.
They may help us stand taller,
We may use them for walking distances or to run.
We may just need them for fashion or to keep us warm.
We all have shoes.
They are all different.
They take us all to so many different places.

These boots were made for walking...If our shoes could talk...Just walk a mile, "seriously just walk a block in mine!!!"

We all have our own path.
We may walk in different directions.
Sometimes together, sometimes alone.
Sometimes you have no Godly idea where the frick you are going or how to get there.
But some how you just do.
You get there.

I have a new friend. I met her through the crazy web of Face Book. Friend of a friend, cousin to a friend..yada yada..

Today I was able to walk into the hospital room where this amazing mom and her new miracle lay healing from fresh heart surgery.

Beautiful life.

Nine years ago we were in the room right across the hall.

Natie- If I only knew THEN...

The memories came flooding back, I guess they never really go away. They fade in time. But can be resurrected with a single scent.

I came upon a beautiful, and I mean beautiful baby laying in her crib.
I was speechless.
I saw Natie.
I touched softly the new frail mom.
She was me.

How can I tell her it will all be OK?
How can I assure her that this is meant to be?
How am I going to tell her that although her path has changed it just might be a better road than before?

I was so overwhelmed.  I felt the mom's heavy heart. I looked deeply into her tired eyes.
Holly,
straighten up. Jeez, you are here to help her.
You cannot cry.
But I had too.

 I cried as I listened to the Doctors fill her up with so much information that she could hardly breath.

I felt her pain, her fears and I wanted to sign on the dotted line that life will be good.

Hell, life will be  great.

There will be so many new shoes in her doorway at home.
She will need sturdy ones, for she is now a warrior.

She must navigate the special needs world.
She will wear shoes of great comfort as she waits for moments to go by that are difficult to bear.
She will wear shoes till the soles are worn and the support is gone.  New shoes will be given.  Offered, donated and made.

But this mommy's most important pair will be a kick ass pair of Stiletto's.

She definitely will wear these soon as she CELEBRATES her gift.

This little girl that I met today has changed my life.

It was merely 9 years ago that I was sitting in that chair.
Nine years of different roads,
new paths,

scary journeys,
unbelievable joys,
moments that soar to the heavens,
and depth that cannot be found in poetry.

It impossible for me to tell this mom. 

There are no words.

But since I walkroom into the room in my stilleto's, I think she just knew.

I wear mine proudly as my journey has brought me to her.

Yep my feet are killing me, But the road is worth walking.

So in time, I will offer up my kick ass heels to a deserving new rock star.

You may never walk in my shoes.
Or know the road I have taken.

But from today on you will never forget,
our special children are here to remind us all.

It just doesn't matter how I get there.

It doesn't matter what I wear.

My path is my own.

You walk yours and I will walk mine. And if I can be so blessed we will hold hands and walk together.
I promise to clear the path and make the journey an easier one.

I love shoes.

I am so friggen excited to have gotten a new pair.

Friends

My best friend!

Its certainly been a long time since I pushed the little buttons fiercely on this laptop.  Its certainly not because I didn't have much to say.
Lord knows I'm really never at a loss for words, days my brain just runneth over..
I think you all understand.
 Life gets in the way.

Good life,
and not so good life.
A day that could crush me, a moment that is raw and painful,
But the beauty of a new day, a new dawn and the unexpected greatness of something amazing.


My high school friends!

Its funny that just when I think I have things figured out, I am reminded boldly that I have no friggen idea.


30 years later!

The world does work,
In mysterious ways.

high school buds, and still today!

I have never professed to be a teacher.

But I still teach.

Never thought I was a preacher,

But I still preach.


Friendship

What does that word mean to you?

Really think about it.
If you are young it may hold one meaning.
But for me, it has taken on a life of its own.
I have taught on this subject and preached.
But damn, once again I am merely learning.

Over the past years I have had to re-evaluate what the meaning of friendship is.  I have had girlfriend's since I was little...We may only speak occasionally.  But I love them, and they know that.  I would drive 5 hours to wipe their tears and I would listen for hours about their day.

I have pals that I made once my children were born. Close like sisters as we have walked side by side through the journey of raising a family.

My mom has always been my best friend, with a close second to my daughter.
They would fight off a lion if need be, lift a car or run through the desert to help me.

my neighborhood girls!

They would never hurt me.

I remember a seminar that I took many years ago.  It taught me that if you truly open up to someone, deep, that they will never hurt you. They are too vested in you to do any damage. 

Bullshit.

The countless hours I have spent with my daughter teaching her that you must be a good friend to have a good friend. Sometimes may land on deaf ears. As teens seem to forget the golden rule of not talking behind some one's back or judging someone. It will take time for the youngens to catch on.

Until then I will lead by example.

The other day I was engaged in conversation with some moms of special children. We got on the subject of friends.

Now this is where I wanna puke.

When your special child is small, everyone wants to be there friend.
Kinda like a puppy. So cute.
So innocent.

But then the child grows.
Sometimes the gap widens and where Nate is 9, but can act like he is 5, the friendships get tougher and tougher to hold onto.
These were moms of teenagers.
As you know I am Scarlett O'Hara,
Thought I could just worry about all this tomorrow.

OK, just imagine.
Come on,

even though its not your child.
IT COULD BE.

They are your friend, they are your buddy....
But the phone doesn't ring.
The play dates don't exist.
Maybe the parents are afraid....
Your child comes out of the box unaware.
Its the parents that guide them into friendships...
not fears.

Do not judge me by the costume I wear.

The real me is inside.
Behind the tattoos and fur.
Its me.
Just a boy.
Just a friend.

So, not only do I have to figure out why at my age there are
people that wanna be you, take and never give, hurt you because they can.  Walk away because its easy. Hide when the skys get dark, and seek meanness when they are able.

People that you thought were your friends but just are not forever.

I realize now that even when you think someone is wearing  angel wings,
sometimes they just might be hiding something underneath.

But not with special kids.
No agenda here.
Honest.
Love.
Truth.
Forever.
Loyal.


NATIE-
And the other million Nate's that sit at the park alone.

Maybe our kids run slower.
Maybe they speak a bit unclear.
But they are friends.
They need friends.
They want friends.
They deserve friends.

Just like you do.

So take a moment and get to know someone special.  Look inside, behind the glasses, braces or stutter.
They are as worthy as you.

Funny thing about friends.
Sometimes you end up needing them more than you ever realized.

By the look of what is around me, I must be doing something right.
I am surrounded by love.
Good people.
People I trust.
I may have to do some weeding once in awhile.
Thorns may pop up in my glorious garden.

But I need my peeps to shine.

I will be your forever friend.

As long as you will be mine.

I thought you were just a hairdresser.

"I thought you were just a hairdresser!"

Truly- maybe the best line I have ever heard to date.
It was said to me by a client that saw that I was posted in Sundays Tribune as a "remarkable woman."


Yes-Virginia I really am just a hairdresser,
I am a mom of 5,
a purse designer,
a cook,
housekeeper,
a potty trainer,
an artist,
 a writer,
 a nut job,
a therapist,
 a cab driver,
 a laundry do-er
a seamstress,
a sock picker upper,
a shopper,
a lawn mowing,
exhausted,
trail blazer-Ha.
I am,
a wealth of a little bit of  knowledge,
a shoe addict,
milk chocolate loving,
a tad over weight.
I have crazy hair,
I am shrinking,
I am bold,
I am a girl,
I am a daughter,
a sister,
an Aunt,
a niece,
a cousin,
a cryer,
a romantic,
a hugger,
a goofball,
I am a teacher.
I am a shoulder to cry on,
I am a mentor,
I am adventurous,
I am a believer,
a wanderer,
and a friend.

I am stubborn,

I am a shopaholic,
I am daily teetering on the edge.
I am scared,
I am happy,
I am glittery,
I am an advocate,
I am fierce, brave, strong, loud, funny, sarcastic, gentle, giving, loyal, manic.
I am a hairdresser.

Today I was still all of those things.
But today I was PROUD.

I am often thanked for the job I do here on this earth. I usually shrug it off, not able to take the pat on my back.  Always wondering if they are talking about someone else.  I have always wanted to meet this 'fierce warrior'.  
She sounds amazing.

I'm just a hairdresser.

Lately, I understand my purpose more and more.
Why I was born, why I landed here. Why I am the way I am.
Its clearer now that the rain has gone (Ha it always ties into some great song...) I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that pass me by...Its gonna be a bright, bright sun shiny day!

I have decided that this is so easy for me to do because all I am doing is walking.
Forward.
Its not a speech or an act.
It's my life.
Its our life.
We are all effected in some way.
We have all at one time or another felt unworthy or less than.  Maybe we are uncomfortable in a crowded room.  Feeling odd and out of place.

Well, that's how our special children sometimes feel.
I don't want to give sermons daily. My soap box is about to crack in half.
I just want you all to live it with me.
Don't talk the talk.
Lets walk the walk and live like we all belong.

Cuz, we really do.

We all have the right to be here.
We all started the same,
We were mere little babies.
Given the same open endless possibilities of future.
No doors were closed in your face.
No one turned their backs.

I have to fight for my son.
  I have to shout for the other children.
Our special children have possibilities and dreams,
 likes and loves just like you do.

They all have a story,
I AM........
Take a minute and focus on who they really are.

Talk to them,
 smile,
engage and nurture.

Today I was humbled.
Today I really, really knew that I have made a difference.
TODAY I accepted that I was doing something good.

 I was given a donation today from a mom who lost her special child.  At her child's birth they wrapped her baby in a baby blanket. God decided to take her baby way too soon.
The special child was wrapped gently in the warm blanket and was laid to rest.

This amazing mom never forgot about that blanket.
Although it held great loss for her it was in fact a soothing reminder that others cared. A gentle hug of kindness and warmth.

Unbelievable.
Today,
I was able to purchase the first of many baby blankets .
I sat and stared at the blankets,
I touched them, I smelled them, I saw them wrapped around a gift.


Today was the beginning to great things.

I am who I am Congratulations blankets will be in all Chicago area hospitals.

MY DREAM IS TO HAVE BLANKETS AT EVERY HOSPITAL NATION WIDE.

AVAILABLE.

Just give me some time.
These parents will know they are not alone. The 'Congratulations' on every blanket will remind these chosen families to believe.

I am so proud.

It took me awhile to get here.
It has been a huge pill to swallow.
I cannot believe that its me that was able to purchase these blankets in honor of a friends baby.

I cannot extend my words higher or my gratitude deeper.

I am just a hairdresser.

ANY and all donations can be made to the " I am who I am" baby blanket fund!

Click on www.iam-whoiam.com

Pay Pal available!!

Thank you all!

Someone you should know

This is something I have been wanting to write about for 9 years now.  Its always been there. Just never made it to pen and paper. I hope to do this story justice.  Because as you will soon read, it deserves that and so much more.

I want you to really think about who is a celebrity to you?
Someone who is in the movies?
Has a wonderful singing voice?
A man who helped his team make it into the World Series?
Oprah?

 Not to me. They are just the lucky ones. The chosen few that have great P.R. agents.
They land on a billboard and become someone by memorizing lines or have their voice altered by auto tune.

Is a person a celebrity because they can run faster or hit harder than another?

 In the world of reality t.v. Celebrity-ism is almost a joke.  Sorry Kim Kardashian, but if I were you I would hide in a box for awhile.  Please, go  feed the hungry and do something good with your 15 minutes of fame.

My father always taught me that you must earn respect, not ask for it.
You must do or be something amazing for me to give you celebrity statis.


It sort of goes hand in hand for me. You have to really make a difference for me to put you on a
 pedestal.
Do something.
Grand.
Life changing.
Significant and brave.

I would like for you to meet my friend James Anthony McDonnell.
Born into our world in 1960.
Jimmy as he is known by all has Down Syndrome.
Hard to imagine that in 1961 Jimmy would not have been brought home. He would have been forgotten.  Institutionalized and left.
Alone.

But God knew exactly who to give Jimmy to.
God blessed Jimmy to Cathy, his mother.

As I like to call her the fiercest, most amazing lady I have ever met.  Stronger than an ox in more ways than one.
You want to meet a survivor, a hero, then knock on her door. (That I will save for another day)

Jimmy was born and went home as a little baby boy.
"He had 10 fingers and 10 toes, and 2 eyes", said Cathy.

 No one said a word.
 No one questioned a thing.
Funny though that when Jimmy's uncle first met Jimmy he said  "Where did you get this Chinese baby?"  They laughed it off and Cathy went onto raise her child the best she knew how.  Jimmy just didn't develop quite like her sisters kids that were around the same age.  At about 6 months old Cathy brought Jimmy in to see their pediatrician.
After reading Dr. Spock Cathy knew something was wrong.

 The Dr. said "Just pray it isn't what I think it is", to which Cathy already knew.

Mongoloid.

Back in the olden days they referred to our children as Mongoloids. Due to the fact that their almond shaped eyes resembled those from Mongolia.
Since then much research and studies were found by a Dr. Down that gave insight and knowledge about the syndrome giving it the name today.

When a Dr. told Cathy that her son would never walk, never talk and never learn, she left.

Cathy joined one of the earliest DS groups around. There she found information and places to help Jimmy with his journey.
In the beginning of school  a teacher said that Jimmy would never learn. He may be trainable. But he will never LEARN.

Can you imagine?

Telling that to a mom of a 6 year old?

Professionals evaluate our children in a small time frame. In 2 hours they have the ability to tell us who and what our children will be.

Hell, I don't know who I am going to be and I am well over 6.

As I have also done, Cathy said "NOT MY CHILD!"

How can  you know him in 2 hours?

"I will show you and so will Jimmy."

Bam.

Jimmy went to school until the age of 22.  The day after he graduated he went to work.
His first job was at McDades warehouse. His siblings showed him how to ride the bus. After 2 days Jimmy was on his own.

I cannot imagine the strength that his mother must have had.

Jimmy also kept a busboy position at the local pizza joint on Saturday nights. He worked at Foxes pizza from 16-32 years old.

Jimmy's main career was at the Cook County Treasury Office.  He began as a temp. and is still employed there today.

Jimmy rode the Metra every day.

Alone.

This is where his love for reading began.
Jimmy would read both local papers daily.
Never missing a section.
A few times Jimmy actually did not get off at his regular stop because he was too entranced in his reading.

Jimmy loves to read.

When asked what his favorite section of the paper is he glows like a Christmas tree. "The sports section."
You will probably never catch Jimmy without a White Sox shirt or cap on.  Jimmy is without a doubt their biggest fan and always will be.

All sports that is. He loves the Sox, but the Bears and Bulls are all in the running.

I remember going to the Bulls game with Jimmy many years ago.  Jimmy had the pleasure to practice in advance with the players.
 Really?

I was honored to be sitting next to Jimmy as he spent the night talking with coaches and the Love-ables. Jimmy will tell you that he is a devout ladies man. "I am not a one women man", is a favorite among his lines.

I could go on forever about his achievements.
He is one of the very first Special Olympians.

Jimmy went to Ireland a few years back to lead the Olympians onto the field.
Jimmy loves to travel.
Jimmy loves to smile.And he sure loves to talk.

"I love people, all people". "I am happy go lucky, and I respect every ones feelings!"

Jimmy loves watching wrestling on television.
He loves the colors blue and green.

He likes meat, all meat especially Roast Beef!

Jimmy does not lack self confidence. "I like all people. Not half of the people. I'm a people person. I do things for people. I am very gregarious!" (yep he said that!)

One thing is for certain. Watching Jimmy with his mom is a site to see. Jimmy idolizes his mom. Who wouldn't.  Jimmy needs her as much as she needs him.  The respect is mutual, the love is immense.

Back in the day you would find Jimmy sitting at a neighborhood watering hole. Probably never bought his own beer. He sure loves the ladies. "Girls, I like them all, right mom?"

Cathy has rolled her eyes over a million times. Jimmy is quite a character. But the love is amazing.

I have spent a lot of time with Jimmy.  I often ask him "Whats it like to have Down Syndrome?"
The answers vary a tad. But he mostly mentions that "He is the same."
"I'm a normal guy. If you don't like me, walk away, keep walking and go home."

Jimmy's love for Nathaniel was instant. Jimmy met Nate soon after Nate was born.  I remember Jimmy smiling at Nate and saying "He looks like me!"

Jimmy is always telling me that Nate is just like him.  "Happy go lucky, runs around a lot and not different." We have the same personality and we make people happy."

Jimmy just loves.
He smiles.
He enjoys.
He reads.
He works.

He lives.

It was never easy.
No one will ever lie and tell you that.
Cathy and I have a bond.
 An unspoken connection.
She knows.
She really knows.
But she believed.

Jimmy is 51 years old.
Jimmy has had a wonderful life.
One that has impacted many people.
He has given to society and he has made many smile.

Jimmy is my celebrity.
Always will be.


But his mom,
well she is my hero.