Judge

Its funny just how much time I think about that word.
Judge.
To judge.
To be judged.

As you sit here reading,
be honest with yourself.

I will.

We all judge,
One way or the other.
Yet we despise when it is put upon ourselves.

I have a very multi colored memory of one of my first 'ah-ha' judging moments.  It happened a few years ago.  I was new to attending church...
I suppose the new walls were distracting to me at first.  I have come to realize that I can be at 'church' anywhere.
Any time.
In my own little scattered , dimensional hair colored head.

I sat in the 'crying' room, holding onto one of my million kids.
I thought I must stick out in these walls like a sore thumb.
I was the only one not kneeling.

Not making the sign of the cross,
not singing.
Just smiling with nervous recklessness.

I was in awe of all those who came to pray.
I was inspired and lifted.
Wow- a community that comes together.
Worships the same melodies.
Chants the same mantra's.
See's the same sign.

Not so fast.

I looked through the sheet of glass that separates the kids who cry from the adults who don't.

I was waiting for their kind eyes to meet,
the sweet connection between two people.


Ummmmm,
not so much.

There is was.

Judgement.

Not many greeted each other in the eye.
They looked up and down,
 at their neighbors shoes up to their combed over hair.

No hello's or how are ya's,
Just 'the look'.
The up and down scowl of dissatisfaction.
Holy SH*T.

Lets make this clear....this is not about RELIGION....as a Jewish gal from a town of 4 members,
us Jews certainly can put on the attitude.
'You're fur is out dated'....seriously.

We all do.

But at this moment it was a flash of light right in my cornea.
and it burned.

I have always had the "I don't care what ya' think about me" attitude.
Ask my mom, she'll tell you.

A rebel early on.

Wearing purple before any one else.
Rocking moccasins while all those wore Treetorns.
I never friggen cared.

This is where it may get grey.

I do care.

I don't care if you don't like my shoes. 
 I have plenty that you  would despise.
I don't care if my hair is too loud for your taste.
I don't care if my nose piercing is disturbing to you.

Its me,
That's all I can say.
That's really all I have to say!

But I do care if you judge me on the inside.

Pick me apart like a scarecrow on the outside layer...

Some one must have made you Queen for the day.

Be who you want to be.
Not what you want others to see.

I make wrong judgements all the time.
Covered in tattoo's?
Must ride a bike.

Men who wear Birkenstock's
must be a dork ( I am so sorry- I just had too)
( I really am sorry- its a shoe thing.  I just may never get over....)

80's hair,
stuck in a time warp.

I try to ignore that 'simple minded' girl in my head .
 I quickly erase my judgements and dig a bit deeper to see the real person.
I'm trying,

But,
What  about screaming kids in the table next to yours?
Terrible mom?
Nope, that child has Autism and is in sensory over load.

Your grocery bagger has Down Syndrome.
He must be slow.
Nope, his name is Nate and he reads at the same level as you.

The child in the wheel chair that takes awhile to cross the street.
You pity him....
NO- he is on his way to change the world.

I never received the badge from GOD that allows me to judge others.

Take the time that it takes to judge and use it to improve yourself.

Look inside yourself,
deep.
Take your rose colored-' I am perfect' glasses off and look at the new day.
Honest to God-
Some days people are just trying to kill me.

I am certain there are places within your puzzle that can be changed and  improved.

Truth be told- we really don't know each other all that well.

We keep ourselves hidden.
The real, raw, honest self.
Maybe we share it with our spouses, close friends or therapists.
But you don't really know me.
You don't know why I tick or how I tick.

How can you-
I'm a work in progress.
New day.
new lesson.


All you have to do is accept that I am.
I am exactly who I want to be.

So, is that young man that you just met at Jewel with a Mohawk not good enough to date your daughter?

He is  an honor student with desires to go onto Med school.
It may take him awhile because he daily takes care of his ailing mom.
But he will get there.

Bam,
You got that one wrong.

We ALL get many, many, many wrong.

So-
 Yesterday when my beautiful daughter modeled in a fashion show and decided to wear her glittery converse gym shoes instead of uncomfortable stilettos...


Don't ask why.

You can wear any damn shoe you choose.
But I'd go with my daughters choice.

No aching feet and she certainly tore up the dance floor.

Bam,
Try judging yourself next time.

We're not interested.

Just watch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgfookdG880

Today's Blog is short and sweet.

Sometimes there are no words.


It's just a mere 4 minutes of your time to watch.

You will smile,

maybe laugh,

Hopefully you will UNDERSTAND.

Please press the youtube link  (above picture) and continue to share with your world.

All it takes is a second of your time to hit the share button.

Lets CELEBRATE together.

We are all different...and isn't that the magic?


Together we can educate the minds of ignorance.

Thanks to all.

HOLLY~WOULD

I sit here with a heavy heart.
and a sweater on.
No place like home?  argh-

Of course I missed my children- although maybe not as intense as it once was. The day has arrived that the phone rings less. Their tears and wails of  'what are you buying me' have quieted down a tad.
They are growing up.
And I'm regressing.

A week of California bliss.
My perfect birthday week.
Sunshine
Warmth
Beauty
80 degrees......
Hollywood~
 I was welcomed home.
  By the smell of sweetness in the air. 
The palm trees that explode like a fourth of July firework.
 The sun that melts the top layer of my stressed out skin.
The restaurants, the scenery, the celebs, beautiful shiny cars. The night life.
 Shopping, beaches, pools, music, starry eyed wanna-be's  and the enormous amount of glitter on every corner.
Yep- my favorite place to be. 

Fine, 2nd favorite.
 First and obvious is wrapped up in the arms of my 5 kids.
  But MY nirvana?

Wrapped up with all 5 children directly under the Hollywood sign.

My week was amazing. 
I decided to make my birthday week one that I would never forget.

Many birthdays I have spent the day crying.  Not because I was a year older.  But because I was kissing the year good bye without much to show for it. I felt sad and disappointed.

365 days gone.

What was I waiting for?  The 'okay' to start MY celebration?

  The ticket to get in?

I always knew that I ate the entire chocolate bar, and received the golden ticket. 
It just seemed like I was waiting in line for a long time to use the golden paper at the right time.
But it never came.
I held the golden ticket secure in my back pocket.
I always knew where it was.
I always knew that I held it.

I knew that it wouldn't expire.

Maybe I just wasn't ready.

TILL NOW.

I love Hollywood.
A land of endless opportunities.
Hopefuls praying to any textile they can find.
Selling their souls to the devil for one shot.


Hell-
I already am a CELEBRITY.

Hah- so what if they are on t.v.
the wrinkles will come and they will get the boot.
I don't need a billboard.
Pigeons will crap all over it.....

haha.
I am apart of something BIGGER.
A movement.
A direction.
A new way.
To LIVE.

"I AM WHO I AM"
Fueled by passion.
Led by love.

ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM..
Celebrity or not.


The day has come.

I filled my day with tourist amusement.  I strolled the beaches of Venice.  Spoke with a few homeless souls.  Engaged in great conversation with strangers.  Ate the finest meals while listening to powerful musicians.  I strolled through shops that even if I was a millionaire I would not buy a $600.00 t-shirt. My nights were full of doubled over laughter.  Birthday candles and various chocolate delights.

I spotted celebrities on every corner.
Has beens and currents all walk the same strip.
Wide eyed dreamers and hopefuls lined the pavement.
You can feel the dreams.
You can taste the desires.
But you can also hear the doors slam,
and the magic stolen.

I sat and thought for hours.
I dreamt too.
I kept my Muppet faced grin in place for days.
I was happy deep inside.
Infectious.
Glowing and bright.

I needed the time to clear my mind.  To rid myself of the smoke and mirrors and return with clarity.

I heard the words sing softly in my ears.

I am who I am.

My own kind of star.
A proud mom.
ON A HUGE MISSION.

I don't need an Oscar or an Academy to approve.

All I need is this fire of passion.
 The straight line to follow.
Knowledge that words can make a difference.
That we all can gather,
as one to change the minds of ignorance.

I want to replace the stigma's.
To teach those how to smile at the technicolor people that line our world.
To shake the hand of one who may not be able to extend theirs.

To welcome in your home someone that needs a soft place to fall.
To focus your eyes on the depth of humanity.
The inside.
The heart.

The only place that matters.
To not NOTICE the difference.
We are all the same.
Built with minds and open hearts.

Hah- Hollywood celebrity?
Who cares.
We are all the same at the end of the day.

I hold the golden ticket.
Just like you do.

lets not wait in line any longer.

This was the best birthday of my life.
I am getting the perfect gift.
The gift of giving.

Erasing the 'sorry's' at our children's birth and replacing with Celebrations.
Hollywood style.

Lets make a change.

"I am who I am"

Yep I am NATE'S MOM......
A celebrity in my own dimensional crazy mind.

HE is the true super star.

A boy with star qualities that most would envy.
No need to hand him an Oscar.

He has already won.