HOLLY~WOULD

I sit here with a heavy heart.
and a sweater on.
No place like home?  argh-

Of course I missed my children- although maybe not as intense as it once was. The day has arrived that the phone rings less. Their tears and wails of  'what are you buying me' have quieted down a tad.
They are growing up.
And I'm regressing.

A week of California bliss.
My perfect birthday week.
Sunshine
Warmth
Beauty
80 degrees......
Hollywood~
 I was welcomed home.
  By the smell of sweetness in the air. 
The palm trees that explode like a fourth of July firework.
 The sun that melts the top layer of my stressed out skin.
The restaurants, the scenery, the celebs, beautiful shiny cars. The night life.
 Shopping, beaches, pools, music, starry eyed wanna-be's  and the enormous amount of glitter on every corner.
Yep- my favorite place to be. 

Fine, 2nd favorite.
 First and obvious is wrapped up in the arms of my 5 kids.
  But MY nirvana?

Wrapped up with all 5 children directly under the Hollywood sign.

My week was amazing. 
I decided to make my birthday week one that I would never forget.

Many birthdays I have spent the day crying.  Not because I was a year older.  But because I was kissing the year good bye without much to show for it. I felt sad and disappointed.

365 days gone.

What was I waiting for?  The 'okay' to start MY celebration?

  The ticket to get in?

I always knew that I ate the entire chocolate bar, and received the golden ticket. 
It just seemed like I was waiting in line for a long time to use the golden paper at the right time.
But it never came.
I held the golden ticket secure in my back pocket.
I always knew where it was.
I always knew that I held it.

I knew that it wouldn't expire.

Maybe I just wasn't ready.

TILL NOW.

I love Hollywood.
A land of endless opportunities.
Hopefuls praying to any textile they can find.
Selling their souls to the devil for one shot.


Hell-
I already am a CELEBRITY.

Hah- so what if they are on t.v.
the wrinkles will come and they will get the boot.
I don't need a billboard.
Pigeons will crap all over it.....

haha.
I am apart of something BIGGER.
A movement.
A direction.
A new way.
To LIVE.

"I AM WHO I AM"
Fueled by passion.
Led by love.

ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM..
Celebrity or not.


The day has come.

I filled my day with tourist amusement.  I strolled the beaches of Venice.  Spoke with a few homeless souls.  Engaged in great conversation with strangers.  Ate the finest meals while listening to powerful musicians.  I strolled through shops that even if I was a millionaire I would not buy a $600.00 t-shirt. My nights were full of doubled over laughter.  Birthday candles and various chocolate delights.

I spotted celebrities on every corner.
Has beens and currents all walk the same strip.
Wide eyed dreamers and hopefuls lined the pavement.
You can feel the dreams.
You can taste the desires.
But you can also hear the doors slam,
and the magic stolen.

I sat and thought for hours.
I dreamt too.
I kept my Muppet faced grin in place for days.
I was happy deep inside.
Infectious.
Glowing and bright.

I needed the time to clear my mind.  To rid myself of the smoke and mirrors and return with clarity.

I heard the words sing softly in my ears.

I am who I am.

My own kind of star.
A proud mom.
ON A HUGE MISSION.

I don't need an Oscar or an Academy to approve.

All I need is this fire of passion.
 The straight line to follow.
Knowledge that words can make a difference.
That we all can gather,
as one to change the minds of ignorance.

I want to replace the stigma's.
To teach those how to smile at the technicolor people that line our world.
To shake the hand of one who may not be able to extend theirs.

To welcome in your home someone that needs a soft place to fall.
To focus your eyes on the depth of humanity.
The inside.
The heart.

The only place that matters.
To not NOTICE the difference.
We are all the same.
Built with minds and open hearts.

Hah- Hollywood celebrity?
Who cares.
We are all the same at the end of the day.

I hold the golden ticket.
Just like you do.

lets not wait in line any longer.

This was the best birthday of my life.
I am getting the perfect gift.
The gift of giving.

Erasing the 'sorry's' at our children's birth and replacing with Celebrations.
Hollywood style.

Lets make a change.

"I am who I am"

Yep I am NATE'S MOM......
A celebrity in my own dimensional crazy mind.

HE is the true super star.

A boy with star qualities that most would envy.
No need to hand him an Oscar.

He has already won.