Lucky

Funny thing,

(some how it always has to do with shoes.)

Us crazy writers seem to always write about the same thing.
Kinda like choosing a lipstick color or a pair of black comfy shoes.
No matter how daring you try to expand,
You seem to always choose the same damn shade of mauve.

So, here I go again.

Another feeble attempt to write about happiness.
To write about the word in order to find its purpose.

Its mystique to some,
and the drug that others just cannot get enough of.


Truly.
What makes you happy?
What makes you smile?
Does the smile fade quickly or does the feeling way deep inside of you like a fever?

We all teeter on the edge.
Daily.
Sometimes moment by moment.
How profound a single second can change your entire universe.
From on top of the hill to the swallows of darkness.

Damn,
those moments are scary and if you are not in one right now.
Consider yourself lucky.
Friggen blessed.

My happiness may not interest you.

It may seem as bizarre as a Pollack painting or as confusing as the Chinese language.

But I am.

Today.

Happy.

As my feet waiver above my carpet, morning floor I remind myself that I am entering a new day.

Full of endless possibilities.

I have absolutely no desire to exist.
Or to simply live.

The thought scares the shit out of me.

I must capture every ounce of happiness that the new day brings.
If not I believe that I have failed.
I have not squeezed all the juice out of that orange.

I did not carry the belief that in a moment it can change.

(ahhhh, happiness)

So daily,
I kick some ass.
I walk the walk,
try not to talk the talk.
I give and give big.
I love and I love deeply.
I am a friend, a listener, a sidekick and a believer.

Really?
What else is our choice?
Think about it....
Isn't happiness (as long as no real sadness or tragedy is among us)
Isn't it our daily choice?

The moments are our gifts.
Not a new thought process. Not new words. I'm certainly no Maya Angelou.

But how you decide to unwrap your gift is up to you and only you.

Today Natie and I went to breakfast. 
A young man walked in with his brother.

I was drawn to him.

Yes he was special.
In every way,
and in moments I realized how special his brother was.

The proud older brother went on to tell me how he picks his brother up every weekend to have donuts and go to church.
A wonderful routine.
When he smiled and said these words to me I was rendered speechless.

"This is exactly where I need to be, with my brother".

Wow- That was EXACTLY where I was suppose to be.
Meeting them.

In the afternoon I ran into the mall. As I was paying for my potions and lotions the lovely sales girl exclaimed "Oh my G-d it's Holly, a celebrity". As the entire store stared and the girl was squealing with delight, I thought I was on the 'punked' television show.

She continued with her story.
One full of a sad pregnancy.
Full of others ignorance and lack of compassion.
She was introduced to my blog and our website and she was gleaming with pride to be a member.
She instantly erased the stranger and became my friend.

There are times I am truly happy.
Unable to rub off.
Almost contagious.
Yes,
 a chocolate chip cookie, a kick ass pair of cowboy boots, a trip to Nordstroms and a warm kiss surely fit the bill.

But its in times like these.
I am reminded.

Happiness comes from within.
It bounces back from what you do and what you give.

Its not an object.
It just can't be bought.

So today I was exactly where I needed to be.

Surrounded by goodness and accepting of new friends.

How did I ever get so lucky?


www.iam-whoiam.com