Another secret revealed.
Fine- maybe not scared to death. But apprehensive to say the least.
Why?
Maybe because going back is nearly impossible.
Maybe erasing the past memories and moments would be for the better.
To have those that once judged be off of the jury.
To walk in solely as yourself.
The here and now self. The self that took years to mold and create.
The art in progress.
I wish to God I knew then what I know now.
The friendships that I would have nurtured. The boys that I would have taken a second look at.
Those first impressions that were so very wrong.
Trying so hard to be the person we thought we should be.
Instead of growing into the person we would be.
Who would have known that the red head down the street would inspire me with his 'toys for tots' event? Or the boy from homeroom that is now an influential gay rights activist.
The girl with the awkward smile is now the one who holds your child's hand during their chemo treatment..
The men and women who make a difference daily.
Who would have known?
It takes so much time to develop.
Blood, sweat and tears time.
Raw moments.
Rough, edgy, painful moments.
Growing up.Today the word, popular just doesn't fit into my vocabulary.
I am a mixture of hard work, value, inspiration and love.
I am who I am.
Certainly didn't know that then.
Back in the day.
It was all about Spires shoes.
Getting the right table at Murphy's for fries.
Making the dance team.
Sitting under the clock.
Hoping that someone would notice that you were worthy.
Today its about making the right choices.
Giving back.
Loving those that need to be held.
Helping
Selfless acts.
Random acts.
Judge- less acts.
.
Taking the day and seizing it for all its worth.
Being the change.
Reaching for more.
Making a damn difference.
So this year when I walk into the room, I will notice all new faces.
Not the faces of my past.
Merely reminders of what we once were.
Excited to learn who we have become.
Do not judge my past for it has shaped my future.
Embrace the new day for it holds all things that are possible.
"I am who I am"..... that certainly took a long time.
What an awesome post Holly. It really resonated with me. Especially this part:
ReplyDelete"I wish to God I knew then what I know now.
The friendships that I would have nurtured. The boys that I would have taken a second look at.
Those first impressions that were so very wrong.
Trying so hard to be the person we thought we should be. Instead of growing into the person we would be."
I wish so much that my living children will be able to appreciate things in their adolescence (when the time comes) that I was not able to. I want them to have a self confidence that I lacked.
It is incredible to look back on that time in our lives and the people we knew and reflect on what we have learned and who we have become. Thanks again for sharing.
Holly, Your words are an inspiration. When I had my first birth "twins", I said to God, "God, now you me... My children dont have to be perfect, popular or even smart, all I ask is that you give me children that can cope with the stress of everyday life and learn to live within the limits that are placed and have them always 'feel' like they are important, special and kind, that is all I ask". God has granted me my prayer.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to seeing you next Sunday!
Sue Reilly-Dose