After the mourn...

The clarity came in quickly.

Dan and I held our baby tight.

Stop telling me what he won't do.

Stop telling me who he won't be.

Stop it.

He is a child.

He is Nathaniel.

A gift from God.

Not your text book version.

BUT Nathaniel, my son.

At first I was afraid to see Nathaniel.

Afraid to hold Nathaniel.

The "sorries" had me believe that my son must be 'different'. Something HAD to be terribly wrong.

I was frightened.

I held my breath.

I am his mom, damn it.

Give him to me.


All I saw was my new born baby.

Perfection.

 I would tell him softly that I would take care of him forever. A promise that I have kept and cherished since the very first day we met.

I cried, although we really were not sure why. (Now I know it was because of the sadness and fears that were handed to me).

My mom walked in the room as I held Nathaniel tight. She asked me why I was crying.  "Mom, our son has Down Syndrome." To which she replied,  "So what, he's alive isn't he?".

 Self pity was gone, never to come back.  The gift my mother gave me was priceless.

Let the CELEBRATION begin.

My vision is my mission.

  I WILL erase the sadness in those delivery rooms. 
NO mother shall ever hear an "I'm sorry' and be met with dark stares again.

No child deserves any less of a jubilant moment. 
Their BIRTHDAY.

It is their right.

It was taken from me.

But I want it back.

"It is what it is" my dear friends.  A new day.  A new dawn.

Save your sorries for some one who needs it.

That person was certainly not me.